After I put my balls in her mouth, I want to put my schlong where?

She misinterpreted a text I sent earlier, but she still came over. I still can’t believe she’s here, in the next room, taking out her contact lenses. I did read her a bunch of posts from here and she laughed, which was awesome. I even told her how, if a guy is serious, there’s a three letter phrase he’ll say to indicate the depth of his feelings. “Lick my balls,” and I re-iterated this tonight. Despite my assurance to her that I’m kinky, we haven’t done anything crazy (if you count sex on the kitchen table, the couch, and the kitchen chairs as kinky…well, that’s not even in my book).

Next, I really want her to lick my balls. I told her that in the car and she laughed, “Maybe if you get me drunk.” So we’re having mojitos…shh. I put more rum than was required per the recipe (if you see her, don’t tell her that, okay?). The sex has been phenomenal, but, not freaky, despite my assurance to her that I am in fact a kinky SOB. Lol.

Tonight, I told her I want her for dessert…and then started talking about filling her ass crack with whip cream, topping it with chocolate sauce and a cherry and calling it, “Ass pie.” Or, “Butt cake.” One of those.

If I tell her that I also want to do ATM, you think she’ll freak out? She’s done more than me, in many ways. The sun is shining, my friends, and I’m making hay. I grew up in the country and yes, there are some metaphors that stick with me. When I hear my voice recorded, I remember my accent. One guy I know called it, “hillbilly.” Well, this hillbilly is going to attempt to do crazy shit.

Fingers crossed that she let’s me put my balls in her mouth, at least. I have little hope she’ll let me stuff her backdoor, but, this whole situation seems unreal so far…so, well, who knows?

I have more plots in mind…but, one step at a time. First, my balls in her mouth. Then my cock in her ass…and then who knows? World domination, I think. I still feel like somebody needs to pinch me…because she’s unreal. If you have followed my blog for a while…you’ll know that I’ve had ups and downs. Now I’m staring at her in my underwear and wonder WTF I’m doing on the computer. Wish me (and my balls) luck.

2 thoughts on “After I put my balls in her mouth, I want to put my schlong where?

  1. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s sex parade over here buutttt I’m gonna have to call you out on getting her extra drunk just so she would let you do what you want in bed. She is unable to give coherent consent, and that’s kinda not cool. If you have to alter a persons state in any way to get them to have a certain type of sex with you, it sounds pretty douchy. Total frat guy move, just a couple rungs down the ladder from slipping something in her drink. Not only that, but you may run into issues with this if she wakes up, remembers, and regrets it- you might find yourself in hot water with her. I am hoping you were kidding about it.That’s all I have to say!

    • In case you’re wondering: she read the post after I wrote it, we laughed about it…and spent about five hours doing various things. Then again for about a half hour this morning ha ha ha. Good communication is critical in a relationship…not drunken sex. lol.

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